Netizens of The Word

Truth be told by Brother Utoy

Posted by exodians on February 8, 2009

“Thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven!”

Brother Utoy's Salvation History

Brother Utoy's Salvation History

I’m not very familiar with the idea of exposurists and regency though in my own formation, I also left the formation and was an ex-seminarian for a year.  My mother was very sick and I had to earn the money for her medications.

Inay by brother utoy

Read brother utoy's "Inay"

I remember I maintained contact with my formators and was meeting an appointed priest to be my regular Spiritual Director (SD.)

This set-up facilitated my re-entry to the congregation.


Stainglass: Brother Utoy took this picture from the St.Peter's Cathedral in Lisieux, the church where St. Therese and her family used to hear Mass. It shows St.Peter crucified upside-down.

Truth be told, my short experience of leaving the seminary left an impact on me: The first month is marked by a terrible sadness.

It is as if I have to mourn for my act of leaving the seminary.  Daw naotod bala ang imong kamot o napatay ang usa sa imong pinalanga nga paryintes. <edited> (amo na iya nga feelings mga toto, mga bro … )

It is a kind of depression that non-seminarians would never understand.

I realized that even though I have the support of my congregation, I am in fact alone.

I am left to my own devices as to what should I do with my vocation. That made me think of other seminarians who were cut of from their formation, and the ordeal they have to go through to survive, much more, to sustain their calling.

I’ve known many ex-seminarians and sadly, they’ve gone astray and had lost hope.

What is more saddening is that they’re actually good vocations; something just got wrong along the way and it can be remedied easily.  But the seminary won’t do anything about it.

Funny how the Church has programs for unwed mothers, for migrant youths, for displaced squatters, for the deaf and blind of the community but not a program for ex-seminarians.

They themselves know how difficult the passage from seminary to outside world is, they know how wounded and hurting these formandis are.

Kaya nga, I’m glad there’s EXODIANS, kasi it is some kind of a support group who really knows and feels how it is to be an ex-seminarian, a group that can hear out the voices of their fellow brothers who, in spite of their present status, still hope to serve the Mother Church the best they can.

To my brother seminarians who are outside the formation, I have two words for you:

1. GO WEST. If vocations are just wasted in the Philippines, there are countries abroad who looking for them, especially the North American and European countries.  Wait not for the sympathy of your former formators. Take some risks!

2.   Move on. You have a responsibility to sustain your calling. There’s no point diminishing the dignity of your vocation by begging your former seminary to accept you back. If they are deaf for God’s call for you, there are others out there who are willing to listen with you, tiyak yun. (for sure!)

Remember that at this point, the ball is at your court, you must make an answer to the difficult challenge imposed on your vocation, and your answer must be:

  • firm,

  • daring and,

  • creative, depending on the circumstance you are in.

As I have always said before,

“priesthood is never for the faint of heart.”

Kaya naman, ang payo ko:

Sugod, mga kapatid!

God bless the EXODIANS!

God bless us all!

Visit Brother Utoy’s Blog


12 Responses to “Truth be told by Brother Utoy”

  1. uy, salamat! nakakahiya naman. wrong grammar pa naman ako (lalo na sa ilonggo). hehe…

    thanks you too for the well-placed emphases on certain phrases.ü I’ll feature this on one of my posts. Salamat po ulit!

    the stainglass pala: i took that from the St.Peter’s Cathedral in Lisieux, the church where St. Therese and her family used to hear Mass. It shows St.Peter crucified upside-down.

    God bless!

    • exodians said

      Brother Utoy may kasabihan sa Ilongo – – may “sabot” kag wala…takas!”. Ibig sabihon kay Bol-anon lagi, peaceful nga lugar – – ang importante Toto Utoy nagkaintindihanay.

      Leave the grammar to the grammarians. Let them watch this page with HORROR!

      “They” are not the PEOPLE…

      Here is how our people write: txt n ng w gd gn lttr pr lng gd cdd.gdlck.pads.tnx.kwl.

      If gramatically wrong is really hellish, according to Dr. In Educasyon De Perferto, Phd, DD, – – then, ipagdarasal na lang po ang ating kamalian sa grammar, correct usage, correct punctuation…After all, we believe that importante din ang kasanayan sa wikang englis upang tataas ang ating kalagayan, sa grado ng mga term papers/reports/thesis/essays/ – –

      Grammar na nga: http://risingsun.dannyarao.com/category/grammar-check/

  2. pahabol, you can read pala my “ex-seminarian” experience at this link:


    i was featured by a blogger who is himself an ex-seminarian. God bless!

  3. […] on Barubal na nga ba si Utoy?exodians.org on Hellish Links, Heavenly BlogsTruth be told by Brother Utoy « EXODIANS on Barubal na nga ba […]

  4. Geisha said


    bro utoy is by far the most intriguing blogger of all times!(ano daw?) idol ko yan! pag pari ka na sayu lang ako mag co-confess!

    Right of reply: welcome Geish. sowee kung nahuli ang right of reply na tu. pero hindi pa huli ang lahat di ba? SALAMAT SA DALAW KUMADRE!

  5. Read the English Translation of Brother Utoy’s Article in their Congregation’s website Under Karay-a link.

  6. ifoundme said

    asta diri kalambot ka pa, kuya utoy? wow!

    Right of reply: sensya na sa tagal ng panahon bago po kayo na welcome at napasalamatan na dalawin ang barong barong. wait. ngaa nga nanagawog kita sini haw? hahaha! welcome bord!

  7. Sakto ka gid IFM, may Ilonggo pa na yah! Hehe…


    Right of Reply: well bord, sensya na kung wala ta mabalusan ang imo nga commentaryo. tuod ka gid may ilongo pa na si toto utoy to ya. pero bord sa tuod lang ma-influencia gid ang mga katotoan kay kung wala sila ti indi tani si toto utoy ta makahambal sang ilongo eh. SALAMAT SA PAGBISITA.

  8. […] brought to the exodians: Truth be told by Brother Utoy: He was kind/gentleman/sport/tolerant – –  enough to heed the call of his BROTHERS in Arms. […]

  9. Brian said

    Hi there! It’s nice to be here! I am from Negros. Currently I am working on a research proposal about former seminarians. Still on my intro though!

    Naks naman, iba talaga ang depression bro, nafeel ko talaga yan! kahit hanggang ngayon, my moments of sadness talaga.

    • exodians said

      Brian, welcome! you are not alone. This website was created because of depression and sense of injustice…particularly abuse of power. Your stories/our stories were old. It happened LONG LONG TIME AGO… so as the stories you can read in the Bible… So as the stories in our HISTORY BOOKS… So as the stories of the CIVIL RIGHTS MOVEMENT …so as the stories of the AMERICAN REVOLUTION … But we continue to talk – – discusss – – celebrate…

      This is the place…

      Your research sounds interesting…

      Thanks for passing by…

  10. galing ng tinuran ni broutoy!….

    Rights of reply: salamat sa dalaw blu. may nakalaang blog para sa iyo sa ala ala nung kapanahunan ni darbensblue. na blu din ang gusto ngunit mas nagustuhan ang red rose. hehehe.

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