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Archive for April 22nd, 2009

Pinoy Culture 101: In times of sorrow and pain

Posted by darbs on April 22, 2009

Thanks Tita Laur sa Email. I am just hoping that this is not copyrighted material, if so then, “wala tay mahimo” i-delete if necessary at least walay maangin nga kinabuhi.

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Question: HOW WOULD YOU KNOW YOU’RE AT A FILIPINO PARTY?

Simple !

  • You’re an hour late and there’s still nobody there!
  • There’s enough food to feed the Philippines .
  • You can’t even get through the door because there’s a pile of 50 shoes blocking the way.
  • You see a huge fork and spoon on the wall, a framed picture of the Last Supper, a huge Santo Nino, and a barrel man.

Note: Barrel man? Did not get this one.

  • They’ re singing “Peelings” on karaoke. (Of course, the F penomenon)
  • There’s a piano in the living room for decoration.
  • You are greeted by a Tita Baby and/or a Tito Boy.
  • The older men are in the garage playing posoy-dos, or poker or black jack; the women are in the kitchen gossiping, or are playing mahjong; the other  people are in the entertainment room singing karaoke, and the kids are outside the streets running around unsupervised.
  • There’s goat ‘pulutan’ being cooked.
  • There’s a crazy woman with a camera going around the room snapping away and yelling, “Uy peeeek-chuuur! “
  • You enter a family party and you “Mano” to half the old crowd and when  you leave you have to say goodbye to EVERYONE that’s related to you as a  sign of respect. You end up saying hello and goodbye for a total of 30-40 minutes.

You know you’re at a Filipino party when…

  • You hear a male’s voice on the karaoke trying to emulate Frank Sinatra’s “My Way”.
  • Women are still doing the line dance “todo todo “..
  • There’s at least one or more with the name : JP, JJ, JT, TJ, DJ, AJ, RJ, LJ, Gingging, Lingling, Bingbing, Tingting, Dingding, Wengweng, Bongbong, Dongdong, Tata, Niknik, Bokbok, Nognog, etc.
  • All the old aunties and guests are already wrapping up food to take home.
  • You have the Pacquiao fight on the illegal cable boxes on the 70″ LCD in the movie room; The 10 yr old 50″ CRT in the living room; The 15 yr old 30″ tube in the breakfast nook; The 20 yr old 15″ tube in the kitchen; The 30 yr old 13″ tube in the garage; And the Little portable by the BBQ grill,

Note: Because TVs NEVER retired in a Filipino household, they merely get demoted to whichever room doesn’t have a TV yet (hahaha), then it ends up in the balikbayan box to be sent to a relative back home, and it ends up being the main TV at the house again.

  • The aunties & guests are showing off their “designer” Louis Vuitton and Coach bags that they secretly bought at a swap-meet.
  • Someone is always in the kitchen constantly cleaning up, and you’re not sure if she’s the maid or a relative, so you greet and kiss them on the cheek anyway.
  • Relatives/friends will ask you where you work and if it’s a retail job or if you work at an amusement park, they’ll ask if you can get them a discount.
  • The lumpia is gone in 5 minutes and they are frying up another batch.
  • They play achy-breaky heart over and over again.
  • I like how the religious gatherings at the house turn into an illegal gambling set up by the end of the night !!

OH DI BA?

I responded: 99.99% true.

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