EXODIANS

Netizens of The Word

Pinoy Culture 101: In times of sorrow and pain

Posted by darbs on April 22, 2009

Thanks Tita Laur sa Email. I am just hoping that this is not copyrighted material, if so then, “wala tay mahimo” i-delete if necessary at least walay maangin nga kinabuhi.

* * *

Question: HOW WOULD YOU KNOW YOU’RE AT A FILIPINO PARTY?

Simple !

  • You’re an hour late and there’s still nobody there!
  • There’s enough food to feed the Philippines .
  • You can’t even get through the door because there’s a pile of 50 shoes blocking the way.
  • You see a huge fork and spoon on the wall, a framed picture of the Last Supper, a huge Santo Nino, and a barrel man.

Note: Barrel man? Did not get this one.

  • They’ re singing “Peelings” on karaoke. (Of course, the F penomenon)
  • There’s a piano in the living room for decoration.
  • You are greeted by a Tita Baby and/or a Tito Boy.
  • The older men are in the garage playing posoy-dos, or poker or black jack; the women are in the kitchen gossiping, or are playing mahjong; the other  people are in the entertainment room singing karaoke, and the kids are outside the streets running around unsupervised.
  • There’s goat ‘pulutan’ being cooked.
  • There’s a crazy woman with a camera going around the room snapping away and yelling, “Uy peeeek-chuuur! “
  • You enter a family party and you “Mano” to half the old crowd and when  you leave you have to say goodbye to EVERYONE that’s related to you as a  sign of respect. You end up saying hello and goodbye for a total of 30-40 minutes.

You know you’re at a Filipino party when…

  • You hear a male’s voice on the karaoke trying to emulate Frank Sinatra’s “My Way”.
  • Women are still doing the line dance “todo todo “..
  • There’s at least one or more with the name : JP, JJ, JT, TJ, DJ, AJ, RJ, LJ, Gingging, Lingling, Bingbing, Tingting, Dingding, Wengweng, Bongbong, Dongdong, Tata, Niknik, Bokbok, Nognog, etc.
  • All the old aunties and guests are already wrapping up food to take home.
  • You have the Pacquiao fight on the illegal cable boxes on the 70″ LCD in the movie room; The 10 yr old 50″ CRT in the living room; The 15 yr old 30″ tube in the breakfast nook; The 20 yr old 15″ tube in the kitchen; The 30 yr old 13″ tube in the garage; And the Little portable by the BBQ grill,

Note: Because TVs NEVER retired in a Filipino household, they merely get demoted to whichever room doesn’t have a TV yet (hahaha), then it ends up in the balikbayan box to be sent to a relative back home, and it ends up being the main TV at the house again.

  • The aunties & guests are showing off their “designer” Louis Vuitton and Coach bags that they secretly bought at a swap-meet.
  • Someone is always in the kitchen constantly cleaning up, and you’re not sure if she’s the maid or a relative, so you greet and kiss them on the cheek anyway.
  • Relatives/friends will ask you where you work and if it’s a retail job or if you work at an amusement park, they’ll ask if you can get them a discount.
  • The lumpia is gone in 5 minutes and they are frying up another batch.
  • They play achy-breaky heart over and over again.
  • I like how the religious gatherings at the house turn into an illegal gambling set up by the end of the night !!

OH DI BA?

I responded: 99.99% true.

2 Responses to “Pinoy Culture 101: In times of sorrow and pain”

  1. thanks for a great post, i may put a link to it in my own blog.if thats ok with you?
    cheeres
    liran

  2. darbs said

    Hello Morongo-Casino. Thank you for informing us to your intention. Yes, you are welcome to put a link to your blog.

    Since you have ad sense, for sure you are making pennies. And pennies put together… SAY in 12 YEARS…translate it into DOLLARS!!! … ah, let the illiterates of the 21st CENTURY do their research. Let them understand, how to make dough in the net…

    You asked for a favor…again thank you for asking…

    MESSAGE TO MY KABABAYANG “GAMITAY-ISIP KULTURA” and still using such concept in a NEGATIVE CONNOTATION: Here is my proof that WE ARE USING EACH OTHER…IN A POSITIVE CONNOTATION.

    I used you, you used me…we used each other… in a positive way. Mind you, FYI – – that IS EXACTLY THE SPIRIT OF SOCIAL NETWORKING!

    he/she Morongo-Casino I have to use you as an example. In strict sense I should not approve you. First of all AKISMET caught and tag you as SPAMMER! YOUR BLOG looks like a spam blog. YOUR NAME CASINO-MORONGO is a big no! no!. CASINO? Moro? NGO? Common! you have no chance at all!

    CASINO alone! – A GAMBLING place; what is next VIAGRA? PITOY ENHANCER?

    Morongo-Casino, CAME TO US! asking for A FAVOR – a link in his blog. CASINO – MORONGO.

    I did not delete the message because I need him. OK sa binalingag nga panghunahuna gamiton nato sya kay kinahanglanon sya sa pag introduce sa usa ka solusyon. Sala ba nga mamahimong instrumento ug mao ang instrumento?

    Casino-Morongo you are approved:

    In exchange, I will name Li to Morongo-Casino. Why Morongo-Casino? To emphasize M. And by using your name M, I will advertise you! for taking the chance to do what you did. I only need one! JUST YOU! I WILL NO LONGER APPROVE ANYBODY who is a DATKOMISTA BEARING THE names such as CASINO! VIAGRA! ERAP ESTRADA! unless I come to you.

    Please remember that the writer of the article (not me-darbs) will come to you when you make so much PENNIES from the article you mentioned. You call it, royalty tax, vat tax, tax to the author, honor to the author, revolutionary tax, income tax, tax kang uncle sam… or just say thanks to the author (not me). that is all.

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